Hammerheaded and altruistic

Lillidal?

2009-06-12T10:25:03Z

Who is lillidal? and why did they add me? Only to disappear...

Well...

2009-06-08T21:16:04Z

Hello! Long time no post! Well....I am happy! Not 'the hills are alive'......Kinda happy, but just not what I used to be, which is stressed and obsessive.

So, nothing really to write about.

Love

Kell.

Stop motion.

2009-05-11T20:34:56Z

After watching some every good stop motion, I have decided that when I get my allotment, I am going to use it for a stop motion project! Anyone wanna help?

Kelly the picture grinch. Die facebook, die!

2009-05-11T13:33:36Z

Am I just being miserable...or is posting new pics of the same club and same people every week, just a little.....ummm?

Week 1: Here's me getting drunk, here's my mate pretending to tongue my other mate, here's a table full of empty alcopop bottles....cleavage shot....here's my mate passed out...

Week 2: Here's me getting drunk, here's my mate pretending to tongue my other mate, here's a table full of empty alcopop bottles....cleavage shot....here's my mate passed out...

Week 3: .........................................................................

Okay, maybe I am being a miserable bitch....

Sorry..

One day Moo is going to do this to me :)

2009-04-16T04:22:08Z

I should really stop teasing her!

I should be in bed but I cant sleep...

Healthy and Clever Kell!

2009-04-13T21:30:49Z

I'm feeling really accomplished at the moment!
I have been helping Bekki at her allotment and I have a little plot of mine own there (borrowed until I get my own) I have been digging and digging it over and getting rid of all the stones, making the earth all pretty :)
Today I dug it some more and smoothed it and gave it love, and now it has the beginnings of some lovely little planting trenches!
Still don't know what I am going to plant in there though? Perhaps some cockle shells? Ringing bells? Pretty maids in a row? (odd image that)
I can't wait till next allotment time, the fresh air and the ponies and the twittering birds and the gentle earthy exercise are all very becoming, for both of us :)
It's the best antidepressant EVAR!
I am getting braver with my sqeamishness for all things wriggling and squiggly and gooey and squishy! I have rescued many worms from certain doom by chucking them on the pile of dirt I'll be digging next, poor things are playing musical houses right now! I had the this great clod of earth and I tapped it and a little worm head poked out and he had no face the poor chap/ess.
Do you think they'd object to me drawing a smily face on them when I come across them? Happy worms? Or graffitied worms?
Anyway Bekki told me that Starlings stamp their feet on the ground to get the worms to come up (they think it is raining) and then BOOM! They get gobbled up, which on the Starlings part, is both very clever (gold star clever) and very rude of them. So....If I drew faces on the worms, perhaps when they Starling made it 'rain' and the worm head popped up with a smiley face on it (I'm thinking reminiscent of the acid smiley) it'll give it pause for thought? Just a thought...

The second thing that is making me happy is that I have been studying Biology and Psychology and have been writing an essay? I think it would be called that although it may end up a book, and the studying and research is just starting to roll along, I am finding it easier to understand the Biology and the Psychology mostly on how the brain functions and it's brain waves etc..I have learned about how the brain's different lobes work, how our eyes work, our Endocrine system (hormones) how everything seems to work in two parts and has two functions that have two more functions that come off of that into another system. I was sqeamish about the idea of becoming a Psychiatrist as I would of had to study Biology and I have seen that plates of dissected humans and found it gross....but the facination is getting stronger than the 'errrgh! Gross'
Anyway, the more I learn the more the argument falls into favour with my theories! So I am writing lots and lots at the moment too.
If I am not out exercising at the allotment, I am at home exercising my brain, it's like a human M.O.T!
Now, I have to go for now because I am fooking hungry!

Kell x

A response to the person Abi posted about.

2009-04-09T14:30:43Z

Isn't ignorance a beatific thing? *pfft*
The amount of times I have been called 'dirty fucking pole', 'polish cunt' been told to 'go back to Poland' by a knuckle dragging be-ringed, fat faced and over-stoned chav is ever increasing.
I've been asked (by Polish men) what part of Poland I am from.

It makes you wonder what British people consider 'British looking'.

Considering different parts of Britain have been invaded and settled over the centuries by Normans, Saxons, Romans (not in historical order) and various other seafaring warmongers and that our king/queen-ship has included Danes/French etc, being born a Brit and looking so would be a moot point, because the county you were born in is likely to have a high number of people with an ancestral bloodline that is from an invaders gene pool.
I look 'foreign' because my bloodline IS foreign, German to be precise! From my mum's dad's side and from dad's mum's side. What's kinda funny is that people say I look Polish, the ONLY reason for this is because we are (as they say) over-run with Poles. If it were an 'over-running' of German immigrants what is the likelihood that I will then be called a 'German cunt' or a 'Dirty fucking kraut' ? Pretty high I'd say.
I can say with an open hand that I am glad to look foreign if the ever increasing view of Brits is that we are ignorant!
I'm basically bemoaning the fact that smart, self aware Brits are in the minority, or seem to be, it's embarrasses me when someone standing near to, or is with me, tries to describe a person by saying 'foreign looking' . If you don't know shut the fuck up!
What kinda grinds my gears a little is that, I'm slightly ignorant! I find the Polish temperament hard to understand (in a vauge from-the-Polish-I have met way) and the Greek/Turkish sexual tendencies far too aggressive (based on recent past experience).
I was always too busy getting smashed out of my face or woorying about my life, to bother learning about different cultures and so hold some views now that need to be refurbished. Perhaps that is what pisses me off about ignorant folk, is the awareness of my own ignorance?
Okay this small pocket of possible hypocrisy has to end somewhere, so..

I think that perhaps, the following generations of British are going to be somewhat stoopid and ignorant,if we don't do something, but hey, who cares?

My tooth aches and I am cranky.....

End of vauge rant.

I want this hamster!

2009-03-05T21:45:57Z

secretspiders @ 2009-02-01T13:23:00

2009-02-01T13:24:19Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtHhppoISBk

Yum!

2009-01-09T22:33:47Z

MMMMMMMMMM!
COOKIES!
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHIP, COOKIES!
EEEEEEEE!
PING!
PING!

COO-OOO-OOKIES!

NOM, NOM!

secretspiders @ 2009-01-07T18:11:00

2009-01-07T18:31:47Z

Today has been a mixture of ups and downs. I had to confess to my best friend that his continuing friendship with my ex boyfriend is a very harrowing concept. Apparently he has a new woman who lives in Luton and he is eager for Simon to meet, her, I am worried for Simon as I think Pet is being manipulative and is playing games. I don't care if he is seeing someone else form Luton as long as he doesn't start going to my pubs with her (which he will) and coming to where I work with her for lunch (which he probably will) I want this man out of my life and he is slowly, slyly squirming back into it.
Mindy is not well again, she has a problem with a tear duct in her eye and when I came home form work today she had left me some liquid shit to clean up, which I cannot get the smell of to go away. This flat is a junk yard, I don't seem to have the time to finish the start I made on it.

I am on this balance between evrything being okay and turning to shit, and one false move could mean it all coming down on my head.

I am going to self medicate with cookies and chocolate moouse x

Luton airport song :)

2008-12-29T22:44:30Z

Curious Kelly.

2008-12-27T23:09:45Z

I was just sitting here munching and reading and I realized I had certain rituals to eating things...certain ways I like my food...
So I have come up with my own little quiz type thing, just for fun and to see how many people do the same things I do.
Answer on my comments if you answer 'other' tell me what the other is.

1. When eating Jaffa cakes, do you:

    (a) nibble around the orange bit then peel away the chocolate covering the orange bit, then eat the cake and then orange flavoured bit last?
    (b) Do a 'full moon, half moon, total eclpise'
    (c) Scoff it in one go.
    (d) Other.

2. When making cheese on toast.

    (a) toast both sides before grilling the cheese.
    (b) toast one side and add the cheese.

Do you prefer the cheese:

    (a) Grated
    (b) sliced

3. What about crunchies?

    (a) Nibble off the chocolate and then eat the honey comb
    (b) Eat the crunchie in bites.
    (c) Other.

4. When eating boiled sweets do you.

    (a) Suck them until they are thin and then crackle them up on your tounge.
    (b) Chew em up as soon as they are in your mouth.

5 what about chewy sweet like Wham Bars?

    (a) Unwrapp them completely and roll it up into a tube/ball and chew and chew the gooey goodness.
    (b) Unwrap bit by bit tugging the chew with your hands and teeth to make longs sugary strands.
    (c) Other

6. Okay, soup...do you like it.

    (a) in a cup
    (b) In a proper soup bowl.
    (c) Straight out of the pot.

If you have bread with it do you...

    (a) Tear off bits and float them in the soup.
    (b) Dunk little squares.
    (c) Use the bread to clean out the soup bowl.
    (d) Other.

7. An all time fave...Beans on toast.

    (a) Beans on the toast.
    (B) Beans and toast.

The toast cut into:

    (a) Triangles.
    (b) Halves.
    (c) Squares.

Most likely thing you'll add to the beans.

   (a) Herbs
   (b) Spices
   (c) Cheese.
   (d) All of em!
   (d) Other.

These are the only ones I can think of for now, I will be adding more of them as I think, (perhaps I have been on quiz overload recently) of them.
You can tell I am bored can't you?
On my own at the Moment listening to the blare of the neighbors television, hoping that it is only the xmas period that is making him a noisy bugger.
Moo has settled in now, is now the madame of Farley Court, little princess! *smiling at her fuzzy sleeping form*
It's cold in here at the moment as I have no gas, so I am camped in my room with food and books and you, the internet folk x

Bye for now x

Edit: I so have to delete my facebook account, I have been doing too many fucking quizzes!

secretspiders @ 2008-12-27T10:44:00

2008-12-27T11:05:04Z

So, I am all moved in, the place is still a bit messy and trampy, the last tenant was a wino, so you can imagine the decor...
It's very cold in here at the moment as I do not have a gas card yet so I cannot put on the heating, so I am sitting in my room with an electric fire on, hoping the electric wont run out as well..ah such is the life of Kell.
Christmas was okay, went to my step dads and had dinner there and some wine and biccies. Then I went to my dads and polished off keft over xmas dinner stuff

I'd like to make more of an for this christmas coming, the past few xmas's have been a bit tense since my mum was Ill and the past xmas' before that were either drug fuelled binges which I can now only vaugely remember or ones where I was totally skint.
This coming year I'd like to feel festive (perhaps I am getting too old for xmas)

My new years resolutions are:

1. Visit my family more (I haven't seen my nieces and nephews since they were small and they live in town)
2. Get a job and stay in it regardless of wether it appeals to my intellect or not.
3. Get my dad and brother motivated into some sort of half life (they're both stoners/recluses)
4. Work on my novels so that next years resolution can be to send it off to publishers.
5. Find true love for myself, within myself, meaning learning to love myself before I give the love away to others.
6.Learn to drive.
7. prepare myself for university.
8. Get healthier.
9. Go for cognitive therapy.
10. Try to do all the above without rancor.

I don't really have much to say at the moment, I tended to write here when I was stressed out and pissed off. I'm not really any of those things now.
I shall have to start thinking of clever and silly things to say then x

Hayley is coming up here with the pooch and we are going for a nice wintry hike in Stockwood park....brrrrr!

oh dear...

2008-12-22T00:20:57Z

Odd things sometimes....old telly programs.

secretspiders @ 2008-12-15T14:43:00

2008-12-15T14:48:40Z

Hello everyone, all is cool and calm this end (for now) I move on the 20th of Decemeber, everything is booked and I have nearly gotten rid of what I don't want and packed what I do.

My ex came over last night and collected his things, I was cool and calm and indifferent, he couldn't look me in the eyes stupid man.
Linda is here keeping me company, we're like a couple of unsupervised teens, smoking and watching movies till stupid O'clock and then sleeping in till dumb o'clock and getting up and doing the same all over again!

I needed the rest!

Love Kell

pee ess I will be in town soon x

secretspiders @ 2008-12-12T18:03:00

2008-12-12T18:04:42Z

I'm feeling a bit better, auntie Linda is on her way to visit, she can boost me up x

secretspiders @ 2008-12-09T21:35:00

2008-12-09T21:36:33Z

I'm fucked! This is going to be one hectic, heavy move!

secretspiders @ 2008-12-09T17:46:00

2008-12-09T18:02:54Z

Ah, packing is a nightmare, especially when you have loads of odd little objects and lots of books and nowhere to put them in the meantime. There seems to be no end to the tat and the things that I have acquired, think I will have to try and curb my pack rat habits...

If anyone else has to move sometime soon, ask me, and I will help pack I am getting really good at it!

My ex tried to contact me on MSN...I didn't reply.
There is one group who think he didn't really do anything, and others who know he has made a huge mistake. If it had of been me, who went to someones house for dinner and had told everyone I was single when my partner didn't know about it, he would have probably rendered them limb from limb.
I wouldn't of done such a thing anyway.

What angers me most is instead of confessing, he fabricated a whole slew of lies and decieit and tried to ostracize me from two innocent folks, just to cover his ass. Had he of came to me in honesty, I may have made the erroneous judgment of still being his woman.

Anyway, onto other things, Mindy has developed an unhealthy obsession for a yellow squeaky bone and carries it everywhere with her, whining and throwing it at me when I wont pay attention to her. She has been a lot more hangy and clingy recently (I think she senses something is changing) also she has been a lot more territorial too.
Strange. strange little madame she is! She is no longer poorly and her coat is coming back to its glorious softness which is good as it hurt me to look at her when she was so poorly.

I'm not back at the hat factory until Jan but have been invited to the work do next Monday x

I'm very tired and worn out but I am happy. That's about it for now, back to packing (boo!)

Kell

secretspiders @ 2008-12-08T17:41:00

2008-12-08T17:51:06Z

Is there any friend out there with a car who could move some boxes, lamps and other small bits like my guitars and nik naks from Lewsey to Farley hill on the 19th Dec or the 21st?
I would really appreciate it and will treat kind friend to dinner out once the dust settles x

Things are hectic at the moment, getting ready to move again.
You should see how well I have packed...I am getting too good at this malarky....
No more moves for a few years please!
The washing machine has been on non stop and I have been wrapping all the stuff I want to keep and packing them safely (if not a little anally) away.
Still loads to do!

I need a coffee! Hee!

Bye for now x

Kell

secretspiders @ 2008-12-02T10:18:00

2008-12-02T10:25:21Z

I knew smoking cannabis affected dreaming sleep, but I wasn't aware that cigarettes did it too...
I've not had any smokes for 2 days or so now and both nights of sleep have been fueled by some of the oddest dreams I have ever had, I'm not going to tell you about them because I boggled my own head let alone boggling your head too But it is safe to stay that I now realize how all the chemical crap in cigarettes must be affecting my brain.
Plus I am not very happy at the moment, I managed to fuck a few things up royally trying to make time to not fuck another thing up (none of it ex related) and now I have to reconsider a whole new set of things. I am not too worried, but I am a bit pissed off.

Thats all.

secretspiders @ 2008-12-01T17:35:00

2008-12-01T17:42:18Z

Haven't posted for a while have I? In all honesty....you don't want to know.

Yes, it's like that, someone roll me down a hill made of chocolate into a whiskey river.

Ho-fucking-hum, reckon I could take this all with a pinch of salt, if I knew where my tobacco was.

Life is like a box of chocolates, if you leave them lying around long enough, you end up with the shit chocolates left over and all the yummy ones in someone else's tummy.

I don't get it when people say they 'feel funny' when they really mean they feel shitty, there is nothing remotely funny about feeling shitty, unless of course...you like feeling shitty?

Why do I never have ciggies when I really need them?

I'm going slightly insane.

secretspiders @ 2008-11-29T19:44:00

2008-11-29T19:44:59Z

http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/snuffit1/shit.html

odd!

I am so angry I feel sick.

2008-11-25T19:13:17Z

Coming home on the bus today, I witnessed a fully grown man smack his one year old child hard in the face over her precious little eye, her (the child's) mother then almost dropped her on the floor and handed her back to the dad who yanked her by her tiny arm really hard. I almost got up and fucking hit him, instead, I have reported them, although there is probably fuck all they can do.

Rant over, I am tired and hungry.

secretspiders @ 2008-11-18T23:27:00

2008-11-18T23:28:16Z